Have there ever been times in your life when you met someone and thought:”God, he/she is really arrogant?” Or maybe, after you talked to someone, you thought: “Damn, he/she is opinionated. I’m glad that I’m not like that!”. I know that I myself have had a couple of situations like that, and only once I started studying Neuro Linguistic Programming did I realize the mistake I had made, the injustice I had inflicted upon all those people. Why? Because perception is projection.
While this sounds a touch cryptic, it actually means that we are fully in charge of what we perceive from other people. Simply put, what when we recognize others as being arrogant or opinionated or any other charming description, we actually recognize a part of ourselves, otherwise how would we be able to know what it was? So, basically, what we see in others is really ourselves!
What others do or how they act is their choice, it is our choice though how we perceive their actions. So, to a certain extent, people in our lives will act the way we unconsciously want them to (akin to a self fulfilling prophecy). That means that we get what we focus on! Hence, we project onto others how we want them to act, and once this projection or judgment comes to our conscious attention, it is our projection.
At the end, this means that you will see in people whatever you want to see, and you will only perceive things that you have in you. So, instead of jumping to judgments, make sure you are giving the person a fair chance. Of course you will still come across certain people you might not like and at least you gave them a fair chance. Furthermore, focus on what you want, and feel free to project on to others the way you want to be yourself!