Although studies suggest that words and language only make up roughly 7% of the total communication (the rest being taken up by non verbal communication and voice tonality), words are the way we represent the world, not only to ourselves, but also to others. The words we use to build sentences aren’t just randomly chosen, they represent our map of reality, and when you start listening to them, a whole new world will open up for you.
Think about this: “I will try to do this”. What does this mean? Well, what happens when you try to open a door. Usually, the door stays closed. Similarly, when somebody tells you they will try to do something, failure is usually implied. In your own case, stop trying to do things, and simply do them. It takes a lot less effort and you get a lot more done! Another example would be: “Don’t’ do this”. The word “not” is one of those very interesting critters that does only exist in language. It is very difficult to process the word…for example: Don’t think of a dog, whatever you do, do not think of a dog. In order not to think about it, you first have to think about it. Hence, give people and yourself instructions in the way you want things to go, and not the opposite!
So, why does all this happen? Well, the brain takes what we say quite literally, and aims to give us the outcome we desire. Hence, although we don’t want something, the brain deletes the “no” and goes for it to help us get it (in actual fact, it is not the brain, but your unconscious mind that expedites your outcome).
Listening to the very words people use can get you important insights into somebody else’s view of reality. And furthermore, it can tell you how serious people are about what they are saying. Is he/she going to do it, wanting to do it, will do it…all these things mean something else!
So, for yourself, pay attentiont to the the words you use, and the more attention you pay to yourself, the more you will
change your own words, and thus your outcomes will suddenly come a lot closer…