After Bankei had passed away, a blind man who lived near the master’s temple told a friend:
“Since I am blind, I cannot watch a person’s face, so I must judge his character by the sound of his voice. Ordinarily when I hear someone congratulate another upon his happiness or success, I also hear a secret tone of envy. When condolence is expressed for the misfortune of another, I hear pleasure and satisfaction, as if the one condoling was really glad there was something left to gain in his own world.
In all my experience, however, Bankei’s voice was always sincere. Whenever he expressed happiness, I heard nothing but happiness, and whenever he expressed sorrow, sorrow was all I heard.”
I have been studying various different tools for change for some time now. Among those, is NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programming. NLP is not only a set of tools, it is a whole mind set, and as such I have incorporated a lot of it into my approach. Yet, one aspect that never really sat right with me was that in NLP you don’t really look at the “problems”, you only look for a way out. Surely, there must be some use in our problems, or? And indeed, there is: Motivation!
For some time, the personal development market and science have stood at opposite sides of a line, throwing stones at each other. While one claims and celebrates the power of the mind and personal power, the other one tries to define what is objectively possible and what is not possible. As such, many people will choose one of both extremes, where usually the scientific extreme is much harsher than the other one. Malcolm Gladwell, in his book “Blink”, claims that snap judgments can many times be better than long, deliberated decisions, when scientists call this humbug. So, what is what here?
A couple of days ago I was talking to a friend on the phone. As funny as it might sound, she complained about complaining too much, and that this sometimes destroys the rapport she has with people. Paracelus said that quantity makes poison, and as such anything is bad that is done too much. However, complaining in and by itself is a useful thing. So I told her that I thought that was great, and that if I ever wrote a book, I would send it to her. She laughed, and asked why?