The university I studied in believed in two things: a lot of individual work and a lot of teamwork (not much left, is there??!). During our endeavors into teamwork, we had the chance of working with many different people, and experiencing many different styles of discussing. One of the people I worked with has burnt himself into my memory particularly, due to the fact that he would always say the following words in a discussion:”I completely agree with you, but maybe we should also consider XYZ.” Already during my time working with him this sentence seemed completely incongruent to me and I never realized why. BUT, now, I know why….
Tag Archives: Neuro Linguistic Programming
Attention: Argument Ahead!
Robert Quillen once said that “Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; an argument an exchange of ignorance”. How many times have we started a friendly discussion, whether it be at work or in a private setting, and after a little while the sides harden, and learning goes straight out of the window, and we go straight to having a full blown argument. By that stage, it is not anymore about what is said, but about our own emotions…who is right! In his famous book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” Dale Carnegie wrote: “The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it”.
Discovering new Maps
Alfred Korzybski coined the phrase:”The Map is not the Territory”. This basically means that how we perceive reality is different from reality itself. An optimist will perceive the world very differently from a pessimist, or not? So, that means there is not one view of reality, but currently 6701485017 views of reality. Each person has their own “map” of what is possible and what is not. Wouldn’t it be great if we could, just for a second, explore these maps, and see the world through different eyes?
What is reality?
Albert Einstein once said that “Reality is an merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one”, and after all my investigations into possibilities and the human potential, the words of MC Escher are for me truer than ever:”Are you really sure that floor can’t also be ceiling?” Although this question might sounds strange, how can we know, and how do we know what is real and what is not? Is there actually such a thing as reality?
NLP Communication Model, Part I
Neuro Linguistic Programming is (among many other definitions) the study of the subjective experience. This means that instead of trying to put people into boxes of what should be happening (objective study), people are seen as unique and one takes a general interest in the other person’s map of the world. What reality is, or what it looks like, we cannot objectively say. We can only say what we perceive to be real or not. As such, how do we go about constructing our view of reality? What are the processes and steps our brain and mind go through to determine our picture of reality?
Achieving Happiness
James Oppenheimer once wrote that “The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.” In a similar fashion, Eleanor Roosevelt said that “Happiness is not a goal, it’s a byproduct”. Every major and minor philosopher and religious leader agrees that happiness has to come from within, yet millions of people still maintain that happiness is one of the goals in their lives. Maybe by winning the jackpot, being successful, or finding their one true love. Well, happiness as moved from the metaphysical to the scientific, and newest research suggests that happiness can be found much nearer than previously thought.
The Law of Requisite Variety
While I lived in Spain, I commonly had the chance to view the following exchange between foreigners and locals:
Tourist: Do you know where X is?
Spaniard: ¿Que? No hablo ingles.
Tourist: DO YOU KNOW WHERE X IS?
Spaniard: Disculpa, pero no entiendo usted.
Tourist (now aggravated): DOOO YOOUU KNOOOWWW WHERE X ISSSSS?
Spaniard: ¿?
And to a certain extent, we are guilty of doing something similar. We try something one way, and if that doesn’t work, we try it the again the same way, only more forcefully. Just like Albert Einstein said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.” What to do?
All Behavior is learnt
When you look at nature, different species are born in different stages of their readiness to tackle this planet. Mountain goats, once born, take a couple of minutes to get their balance, and the next thing you know, they are skipping around happily! Fish can swim immediately as well. So, depending on the species, the “apprenticeship” has a different time frame. Now, the longest of all these apprenticeships is served by the human being! When we are born, the only thing we are equipped to do is scream, eat and soil ourselves. What does this mean?
The Mind Body Connection
From the very beginning of our education, our teachers tend to focus more and more up and to the left, where rational thoughts is said to be generated. The rest of our body is seen as a mode of transportation, to get our left hemisphere from one place to the next. That is why we believe that we can control our mind, yet our body just tends to do whatever it wants to. But what if our body and mind are more intimately linked than we think? What if the body can affect the mind the same way the mind affects the body?
Achievement in Mind 